A relationship is based on many things: namely love, respect, communication, and sex. Or is it? As many are skewed to believe that a relationship may not last without the presence of sex, well, they’re probably right.
It’s all about love
It’s primordial to have the presence of love in a relationship, as it is a pillar of a couple’s life. No matter how much non-sex a couple may be having, love is not a feeling that should be ignored or disregarded. What it basically boils down to is which category the couple falls into: she loves me, or she loves me not.
Multiple choice possibilities
Following whichever school of thought, a choice must predominate in categorizing how the man and the woman see one another. There are three basic categories where a relationship can be based: love, sex or, my personal favorite, both. Needless to say that some might object to my whole way of presenting the idea, but this article is merely a tool to provoke thought about the issue. I am not here to preach or argue for one over the other, but rather to inform you about your decision and where you might stand.
A love-based union is one that stems from great respect between two people in which they don’t see the need to involve their bodies intimately to add to the equation. I know, I know; you may not understand why a man might not want to enjoy his woman’s private garden and consummate their love. But honestly, you don’t need to understand. It comes down to what the couple thinks is right; maybe they can’t have sex due to some physical disability. Who knows? On the other hand, some married couples might only have sex as an act of procreating. Hey, if that’s what they believe, then all the more power to them.
A sex-based arrangement, however, has little to do with understanding a person and caring for their feelings. Its purpose is to use each other’s primal physical attraction to satisfy our sexual tensions and pent up frustrations. Forget about caring for each other when you have the flu or remembering your dog’s birthday for that matter. These relationships are intended to make all parties involved momentarily happy and instantly gratified — the happiness only lasts for a short period of time. You can think of it as loving someone for the moment. Although love can stem from such long-lasting relationships, especially on the woman’s part, they rarely do. Men prefer to keep it exactly what it is. This premise can also be used to explain why some men have affairs or long-term mistresses.
Sex & Love
Then here comes the more complete package that probably explains why the term “honeymoon” was coined. Like any form of union between two people, it has to evolve and grow. It’s not healthy for both people to feel as though their relationship hasn’t evolved after 10 years of being together. If that’s the case, then what’s the point of being an item if you can’t grow together? As love is a fragile sentiment that requires care and maintenance, sex is more of the band-aid solution to minor problems. You have a little fight, argue, make up, and have sex. It seems that one’s complement the other perfectly. Since every relationship has both mental and physical aspects to it, having one that includes love & sex (and lots of it, as guys would prefer) seems logical.
Take it or leave it
It is a known fact that women like to change their men’s ways (which eventually women go on to do for the rest of the union, but that’s beside the point), and not vice-versa. The important thing to remember is that no matter how your partner wants to go through the relationship, you should respect it and comply with the idea. If you don’t want to endure a relationship without sex, that’s fine; but you shouldn’t plan to get into a sexless relationship in order to make it sexual.